Alive
by 88Keys
Summary: Funny how one little word changes everything...Vaughn's thoughts after Hologram. Written because the episode left me wanting more. Complete.


Questions that were in my head after watching "Hologram." Since the show didn't really cover them, I will. One-shot.

Disclaimer: Strange Days at Blake Holsey was created by Jim Rapsas and is the property of the now-defunct Fireworks Entertainment, Discovery Kids, NBC, and probably a lot of other people who could sue me. Please don't.

Alive

By 88Keys

_12:40 am._ I've been lying here since 8 o'clock, not sleeping, not moving, just thinking. One word keeps circling through my head. _Alive_. My mom is alive.

My whole life, I thought she was dead. She supposedly died when I was a baby. I never knew her, but I always wondered. What was she like? How did she feel about me? Do I act like her?

I say "supposedly" died because today I found out she's not really dead. Maybe. I don't know what to believe. She sent me a message. My mom spoke to me, for the very first time. It was so amazing, and wonderful, and scary. It happened so fast, I didn't really have time to comprehend it because we had to get the, well, the whatever-it-was back outside before the timer got to zero. But I've been thinking about her, and her message, ever since.

She said she went away a long time ago, when the accident happened. Which means she didn't die. She's alive. But if she went away on purpose, then why? And why hasn't she come back before now? Maybe the accident somehow damaged things so that she couldn't return.

Or maybe...what she is doing is too important. But what could be more important than your own family? What could be more important than watching your only son grow up?

She also said she would come back someday and explain everything to me and my father. But what is there to explain? What has she been doing for the past sixteen years, and why has she stayed away for so long? Maybe she doesn't really want to come back.

Maybe she doesn't want to see me.

_No! I won't believe that._ She said she loved me. She told me never to forget it. Hearing my mother say "I love you" for the first time in my entire life...I almost started crying, right there in front of everyone. No, I won't forget it. Ever.

_Alive_. Funny how one little word can change everything.

Josie asked me if I was OK. They were all giving me these weird looks, like a mix of pity and confusion. _No, I'm not OK._ _I just found out that my "dead" mother is still alive! Of course I'm not OK!_

"Yeah, I'm fine," is what I really told her. Because I couldn't even begin to explain, and none of them could ever really understand.

_Alive._

My father should know. He has a right to know that the wife he has thought dead for sixteen years is really alive. I wanted to run out of the room as soon as the message ended and tell him. I wanted him to see it for himself. But my friends wouldn't like that. They don't trust him...and they kind of outnumber me. Sometimes it seems like, between my dad and my friends, I don't really have a say in my own life.

I was going to tell him. He needs to know. He deserves to know. As soon as the capsule disappeared into the sky, and we all got back to the school and went our separate ways, I left for my dad's house. I was running as fast as I could. All I could think about was what I was going to say to him...at least at first. Then, as I ran, another thought hit me.

The pendant. He knew about the pendant.

Josie said my mom left it for me when I was a baby. She left it for my father to give me, because she was going away. _Going away._ She knew she was leaving...did she know she was never coming back?

I slowed from a run to a jog, then a trot. She knew she was leaving...and so did he. My father knew too. He must have, if he agreed to keep the pendant for me. Of course, it could be that neither one of them knew how long she would be gone. Maybe the accident kept her away longer than she intended. Maybe he doesn't know that she survived, and he really has thought she was dead all these years.

_Alive. My mother is alive. What if..._ The thought hit me, and stopped me in my tracks. It was the same thought that has kept me awake tonight.

_What if he knew all along?_


End file.
